Role reversal as Harry takes it easy while William lets his hair down

Luffy | Sunday, April 29, 2007 | 0 comments
The thought of his impending tour of duty in Iraq is clearly having a sobering effect on Prince Harry.

Unusually for the party-loving Royal, a visit to his favourite haunt on Friday night involved only a quiet drink with girlfriend Chelsy Davy and – by his standards – an early departure shortly after midnight.

In contrast, the normally more restrained Prince William didn’t seem too worried by the prospect of seeing his brother disappear to a war zone, and celebrated his new-found single status by partying until 3.30am – running up a £5,000 drinks bill in the process.
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According to one party-goer at London's Mahiki nightclub, William, who is almost certain never to see front-line action, "was clearly on a mission to get as drunk as possible" with his friends, including Sir Richard Branson's daughter Holly.

"It was a case of complete role reversal," said another reveller.
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"Harry was on his very best behaviour. He and Chelsy were not really drinking. It was quite clear Harry had other things on his mind. But William didn't care at all about getting drunk."

The elder Royal even ended the evening passionately kissing a mystery blonde.

Harry arrived at 8.30pm for a party organised by officers from the Household Cavalry to wish good luck to the A and B Squadrons, who leave for Iraq this week. Harry, a 2nd lieutenant in the Blues and Royals, will lead a troop from A Squadron.

A source said: "Harry had several Mahiki cocktails and tucked into the canapes, but generally he was taking things easy. He was determined not to be seen drunk in public ahead of his Iraq tour.

"He was surrounded by his Army friends and many senior officers. There was no way Harry was going to fool around in front of them. He knew it would send out the wrong message.

"It was a bit like a school disco and the headmaster being there. He was very junior compared to a lot of the men there, and both he and Chelsy were subdued."

The 22-year-old Prince and Chelsy, 21, were among the first to leave the Mayfair bar. It is believed they went on to a function in a private home in Chelsea's fashionable Kings Road.

In contrast, William, who has followed his brother into the Blues and Royals, only arrived at Mahiki at 11pm, after most of the senior officers had left. And he was clearly relishing his freedom following his split from Kate Middleton this month.

William treated friends to the club's £100 Treasure Chest cocktails – a potent combination of brandy and peach liqueur topped with a bottle of champagne and served in a wooden chest – followed by at least ten bottles of Dom Peri gnon Rosé at £240 a bottle, about five rounds of tequila shots and more cocktails, including Coconut Grenades, a frozen passion fruit and coconut cocktail.

"He arrived with his best friend Guy Pelly," said one party-goer. "They came through the back entrance as the front was cordoned off by police because it was so crowded."

After a few drinks, the 24-year-old Prince and 21-year-old Holly Branson took to the dancefloor to The Kinks’ track You Really Got Me.

"They were clearly very close and getting along like a house on fire," said one onlooker. "At one stage they were poking their tongues out at each other.

"Towards the end of the evening, though, he was sitting with a pretty blonde who had joined his table. They were chatting for a while, then William leaned over and started kissing her in front of his friends. It's clear he is loving single life."

Kate Middleton had been invited to the event by Prince Harry, but she pulled out at the last minute.

"Kate had been at Boujis nightclub the night before so perhaps she just didn't feel like going," said a source. "William was fuelled by alcohol and having a great time and didn't appear to be down in the dumps at all.

"We all thought it was strange Kate wasn't there, but it was just as well. William and the blonde he was with were clearly getting along."

The Mayfair bar is a firm favourite with both Princes. It was where William celebrated following his split from Kate after four-and-a-half years and where Kate, 25, went with her girlfriends to show she was 'fine' after the break-up – and enjoyed an intimate dance with architect Alex Shirley-Smith.

At one point during the party on Friday night, Princes William and Harry were seen having a heart-to-heart in a private corner.

"William had been upset to hear that some senior officers had been questioning the way he has handled his split," said one guest. "There was talk that William had not been terribly kind to Kate. When he heard that, William took Harry aside for a word."

During his time with Kate, the Prince was linked to at least two society beauties. Tess Shepherd, a 19-year-old from Scotland told of a "twirl and embrace" with the Prince in February; and this month it was revealed Kate and William broke up in 2004 over his obsession with It-girl Isabella Anstruther-Gough-Calthorpe.

David hits the peroxide bottle for a copycat Posh look

Luffy | Friday, April 27, 2007 | 0 comments
He's been accused by tough guy ex-footballer Vinnie Jones of moving to the US to hold his wife Posh's handbags - and now David Beckham has decided to copy his wife's blonde crop for a startling blonde look of his own.

The couple, who once famously wore matching Gucci leather suits on a night out, seem to have a habit of copying each other's looks.
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Blonde it like Beckham: David Beckham's new peroxide look is very similar to wife Victoria's hairstyle.

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Victoria went for a blonder look in anticipation of the Beckham's impending move to California, and now husband David has followed suit

Beckham, who is 32 next week, and wife Victoria have returned to their popular blonde look of 2000.

According to The Mirror, his new look has not gone down too well with his teammates at the world famous Spanish club, who teased him throughout training and tried to rip the woolly hat he was wearing from his head.


Brazilian Robinho almost got a hold of the hat, but Beckham managed to get away. A source said his teammates had nicknamed him 'Marilyn' after movie-star Marilyn Monroe.

Beckham's peroxide locks have long been a favourite with rock stars such as Robbie Williams and Billy Idol.

The footballer, who is set to move to Los Angeles for a multi-million pound transfer to U.S football team LA Galaxy, is said to have gone for the look as he and Victoria are scheduled to complete a photo session with top photographer Stephen Klein for America's fashion bible W.

Beckham's teammate Robinho tries to sneak a peek at his new blonde hairdo



Blondes have more fun: Brad Pitt, Billy Idol and Robbie Williams have all succumbed to the lure of the peroxide bottle, each with varying success.
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The Baywatch babe is back, a little washed up

Luffy | Thursday, April 26, 2007 | 0 comments
She was the lifeguard who had men queuing to be rescued.

But more than a decade on from her reign as the over-endowed queen of surf in Baywatch, Pamela Anderson is struggling to hold back the tide of time.

Recreating her most famous role for a television commercial in Malibu, she is not the girl she was.


Her platinum-blonde mane, golden tan and trademark red swimsuit are still in place. But her once babysmooth legs betray signs of cellulite and her most famous assets appear to have lowered by an inch or two.

Two unsightly tattoos, including a heavy-set Celtic band across her left bicep, do little to restore the image.

"From a distance Pammy looked really striking and just as good as ever," said an onlooker.

"But on closer inspection there were a few obvious differences.

"Pammy was the ultimate Californian poster girl, but I doubt that photos of her today will be lining teenage boys' bedrooms."

Miss Anderson, 39, a mother of two, who recently divorced her second husband Kid Rock after six months of marriage, took the world by storm as kind-hearted lifeguard CJ Parker in 1992, not least because of her 36FF chest which she readily admitted was the result of plastic surgery.

She has appeared on the cover of Playboy magazine a record 12 times.

In 1999, two years after leaving Baywatch in the hope of becoming a "serious" actress, she had the implants removed, but is understood to have had them replaced with smaller ones, and also undergone uplift surgery to reduce drooping.

She now boasts a slightly more demure profile of 36DD.

Her latest movie, Blonde and Blonder, a comedy about two girlfriends mistaken for Mafia assassins, is released next month.
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Anderson shows off some familiar moves

Akon Pisses off that 14 Year Old’s Father

Luffy | Tuesday, April 24, 2007 | 0 comments
Akon, after dry-humping a 14 year-old in front of thousands Trinidadians, has been branded by the “Chaguanas ministry” as “atrocious.” Pastor Dave Alleyne, the 14-year old’s father, and the rest of the Chaguanas ministry are attempting to place a ban on public performance for Akon in the local area.



For all I know the Chaguanas ministry could be a breed of people who worship Chihuahua’s and Iguanas, but I do know one thing for sure, dry-humping little girls is against their religion. How ridiculous! What’s next? Banning under-age prostitution?

P.S. The original video was removed from You Tube because of “copy-right infringement.” However, I’m sure it was because having sex with little girls is illegal.
The Original Was Posted Here (Original)

Britney shows off her dazzling new figure

Luffy | Tuesday, April 24, 2007 | 0 comments
In keeping with her startling physical transformation since leaving rehab, Britney Spears has been flaunting her stunning new figure, complete with toned stomach.

Looking tanned and healthy, the 25-year-old was spotted attending a dance studio in Hollywood, where her new athletic appearance was on show thanks to a tiny crop top and denim jean-skirt.
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Britney Spears, on her way to a dance studio in Hollywood, showing off that tonned and flat stomach


While rumours persist her shrinking fame owes more to cosmetic surgery than hard graft, there's no doubt Britney is intent on making her pop comeback as spectacular as in her heyday.
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Different hat but can't see if she's wearing those blue contact lenses

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Pretty in pink?


In recent weeks she has embarked on a vigorous exercise regime, including regular dance classes.
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Oops...I did it again


Now we're just hoping with Britney's major body overhaul, she starts to re-think some of her odd sartorial choices, such as that pink crop top.

Bluebell's big day gets a sprinkle of Spice

Luffy | Monday, April 23, 2007 | 0 comments
The Spice Girls have reunited for a one-off event - the christening of Geri Halliwell's daughter Bluebell.

Four of the band's former line-up made it including the former Posh Spice Victoria Beckham who is thought to have been made a godmother for helping Miss Halliwell, 34, through her pregnancy.
Emma, Mel C, Geri and Victoria
Together again: Four-out-of-five of the Spice Girls (Emma, Mel C, Geri and Victoria) attended Bluebell Madonna's Christening. The only member not there was Mel B

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Proud mum Geri with Bluebell

Geri with Bluebell
Bluebell with her Posh fairy Godmother

Baby Spice Emma Bunton, who is expecting her first child, and Melanie Chisholm - the former Sporty Spice - were also among the 100 guests.

The group's fifth member, Scary Spice Melanie Brown, who lives with her family in the U.S., was the sole absentee.
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The Godmother gives a wave

Miss Halliwell - Ginger Spice - showed off Bluebell to wellwishers, posing with the flowers her 11-monthold daughter is named after.

Black limousines ferried VIP guests from St Michael's church in Highgate, North London, to an after-service party at Miss Halliwell's nearby home.
Mel C
Mel C is sporty while Baby Spice Emma will be the next Spice Girl to give birth

Lady Isabella Hervey, who attended the ceremony along with Little Britain star David Walliams, said: "It was a lovely service. Geri looked stunning. It was good to see so many of the Spice Girls back together and getting on so well."

There was no sign of Bluebell's father, Sacha Gervasi. Miss Halliwell became pregnant after a brief relationship with the 40-year-old scriptwriter in Los Angeles and relations between the two are said to be fraught.
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The new mother looked absolutely radiant at the christening

WORLD EXCLUSIVE: Read highlights of the most controversial book on Princess Diana ever

Luffy | Sunday, April 22, 2007 | 0 comments
When Tina Brown wrote her devastating critique of the marriage of Prince Charles and Princess Diana in the American society magazine Vanity Fair in October 1985, it caused a furore on both sides of the Atlantic.

The cover story - with the eye-catching headline "The mouse that roared" - painted an unflattering portrait of an estranged couple just four years into what had, until then, always been cringeingly referred to as a "fairytale marriage".
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Tina Brown: Ex-Vanity Fair editor's scorching book depicts her 'friend' Diana as a spiteful and manipulative neurotic


Brown, at the time an ambitious young British editor charged with turning around the fortunes of an ailing title, did not mince her words. She described Charles as cranky, self-obsessed and, at 36, prematurely old.

She said he surrounded himself with an assortment of gurus, tried to contact his dead uncle Earl Mountbatten though a ouija board and was dismissed by his father as a "wimp".

Diana, meanwhile, was portrayed as a restless and demanding shopaholic who was obsessed with her public image, spent hours with her Press clippings, and regularly assuaged her loneliness by dancing to Wham! on her Sony Walkman.

The expose initially stunned a Royal court that was unprepared for such an uncompromising assault by so well-informed and well-connected a source - Tina Brown is the wife of Sir Harold Evans, the highly respected former editor of The Sunday Times.

But despite a hurriedly arranged rearguard action, in which tame friends of Charles and Diana were lined up to rubbish Brown's account, Royal reporting would never be the same again.

Ever more lurid stories about the state of the Royal marriage became everyday tabloid fodder.

Diana herself helped shape the climate of hysteria by becoming the secret source for Andrew Morton's 1992 book, Diana: Her True Story, which has since been regarded as the definitive account of an innocent Diana wronged by the House of Windsor.

Now, however, just four months before the tenth anniversary of Diana's death, Tina Brown has revisited the marriage in a new book, The Diana Chronicles, which presents a more balanced but, if anything, even bleaker portrait of the marriage and its main players.

While her 1985 article blamed Diana's "boring" and neglectful husband for her slow transformation from mouse into international star, the new publication depicts her as a "spiteful, manipulative, media-savvy neurotic" preying on Charles and then a series of other rich men for their status and wealth.

Brown claims to have interviewed more than 250 insiders, some of whom have never spoken publicly about Diana before.

They range from Tony Blair - whose role in orchestrating the Princess's funeral was recently depicted in the film The Queen - to Dr James Colthurst, the bicycling son of a baronet who has broken a 15-year silence about his secret role in passing on Diana's taped reminiscences to Morton.

The book, to be serialised in Vanity Fair later this week, makes a series of startling allegations:

lDiana ruthlessly pursued Charles because of his position. Her mother Frances Shand Kydd tried to talk her out of the marriage. When she demanded to know whether she loved the Prince or loved "what he is", Diana retorted: "What's the difference?"

Camilla, until now seen as Charles's true love, was also interested in him only because he was the heir to the throne.

She was infatuated with her first husband, Andrew Parker Bowles, whom she pursued relentlessly for six years. Camilla eventually began her adulterous affair in retaliation for Andrew's infidelity.

Diana had two "assignations" with Charles on the Royal train before their marriage, then co-operated with denials by the Palace to preserve her image of virginity.

Diana falsely convinced herself during their honeymoon that Charles had resumed his affair with Camilla. Brown maintains the Prince was faithful until his wife's eating disorders and "loony" tantrums drove him back to Camilla.

Diana's claim that she tried to commit suicide while pregnant with William was a sympathy-seeking lie.

Diana had no intention of marrying Dodi Fayed, whom she romanced purely to infuriate the Palace. Instead, she was plotting to land a far richer man, American financier Teddy Forstmann, as her next husband.

Charles, for all his bitterness over Diana, was still a little in love with her in her final years. In the hours after the Paris crash, he clung to the hope that she would survive, pledging to bring her home and care for her.

Brown is said to have received a £1million advance for her book from Random House, a company formerly headed by her husband.

With 200,000 copies scheduled to be released in America and Britain, and the publishers already taking advance orders on Amazon, it is certain to be a bestseller.

The trenchant account is being defended vigorously by Brown's entourage, who say it is authoritative, meticulously researched and dispenses with the romantic myth that a ruinously self-absorbed and paranoid Diana had turned her life around.

A friend of Brown who has seen a copy of the book said: "Almost everyone except Charles, William and Harry comes off badly - the Queen, Camilla and, most of all, Di.

"It is going to be highly controversial, but this book isn't based on the myths that Diana created about herself and it certainly isn't gossip.

"Tina is incredibly well-connected. She has been able to persuade an unparalleled range of sources and eyewitnesses to talk fully and honestly for the first time, sorting through the layers of contradictions about Diana.

"Diana was a humanitarian who at one level really identified with the common people, as she thought of them. But she was also a very messed-up woman whose downfall was due to her own insane jealousy and self-obsession."

Brown, whose distinguished journalistic career has included editing The New Yorker magazine and Tatler as well as Vanity Fair, dramatically sets the first chapter of the book in the summer of 1997, when she and the Princess had their last "girls' lunch" at the Four Seasons restaurant in Manhattan.

Surprisingly, despite her 1985 article, Brown maintained a strong friendship with Diana.

Dressed in a striking green Chanel suit and 3in heels, Diana told Brown over lunch that she was considering a permanent move to the States.

She said that she dreaded spending August without her sons, who were due to visit their father and grandmother at Balmoral. "It will be so difficult,' she fretfully declared, "without the boys."

Brown dismisses this as either self-delusion or a lie. The Princess was openly on the look-out, she says, for a rich new husband.

"In August of 1997, Diana was seeking to replace what she had possessed as a Princess with a superstar's version of the same,' Brown writes. "What she was really seeking was a guy with a Gulfstream."

She embarked on her final holiday with Dodi Fayed in part because of the gifts he lavished on her and the comfort she enjoyed aboard his father's yacht, the Jonikal.

But according to her close friend the art collector Lord Palumbo, she relished the notion that the Queen and Charles disapproved of her cavorting in a bikini with the Egyptian-born playboy.

"She just wanted to make the people at Balmoral as angry as possible," Palumbo tells Brown.

For all the supposed agonies over her "boys", she seems to have ignored William's discomfort about her behaviour. He had a "blow-up on the phone with his mother" after seeing photos of her frolics, the book reports.

Meanwhile, behind Dodi's back, Diana was attempting to ensnare Teddy Forstmann, who owned not only a Gulfstream jet but the company that manufactures the elite executive planes.

Forstmann, who was 57 when he met Diana - about whom he has never spoken before - reveals he sent her flowers every week for three years but denies the relationship was ever sexually consummated.

"She was so unhappy," he said. "Diana definitely wanted a guy in her life. She had the idea that we should get married, that I should run for President and she would be First Lady."

Brown asserts that Diana had at least one other multimillionaire on a string - 58-year-old Hong Kong-based electronics entrepreneur Gulu Lalvani.

A friend of his claims that, despite Dodi and Forstmann, Diana was planning to meet Lalvani in London.

Other lifelong associates suggest that far from being a naive victim damaged by her parents' divorce, as she has often been portrayed, Diana was a skilled and sometimes nasty schemer and had been since early childhood.

In her young days, she took out her frustration by tormenting her nannies and buried herself in romantic fiction. Her daydreams centred on marrying Charles, whom she met when he dated her older sister Sarah.

She was enthralled, Brown says, not by him as a human being and a man, but by the notion of becoming the wife of the future king.

Diana felt that she was much more attractive than her sister, whom she cattily referred to as "a tough old thing".

Although she forged friendships with other eligible young men, including James Colthurst, she was determined to keep herself pure for Charles, her "Prince Charming".

Colthurst confides to Brown that he squired her to parties and the theatre but was "emphatic" that their relationship never became physical.

Charles, of course, numbered Camilla among his early conquests. But Brown comes up with the startling suggestion that Charles was not the love of Camilla's life.

That honour went to the philandering cavalry major she married, Andrew Parker Bowles. She pursued the major for six years, the book says.

When Charles eventually made another play for Camilla in around 1983, she agreed to resume their relationship because, according to Brown, she savoured the idea of being the consort of the Prince of Wales and wanted to sound a warning shot to her own faithless husband.

Targeted by two scheming women, Charles is depicted by Brown as a man desperate for affection. His own mother has often been pilloried as dutiful to the point of being incapable of showing emotion.

A Palace staff member, by way of illustration, told Brown that it was his job to break the news to the Queen that Earl Mountbatten had been assassinated. "She said nothing except, "Thank you very much,"' the employee says.

Diana, however, emerges as the coolest, most calculating character in the book. When Charles made his first pass at her, she told Morton that she was embarrassed.

But an eyewitness to the budding romance, Sabrina Guinness, gave Brown a very different account. It was Diana, Guinness says, who was "all over" Charles - "she was flirting, she was giggling...sitting on his lap".

The ambitious young Diana started to cultivate the Press, preening for photographers and buying newspapers and magazines by the armful so she could ogle herself.

"The shy Di is a myth," one photographer said. When a Sunday newspaper reported in November 1980 that she had spent two nights on the Royal "love train" with Charles, the Palace and Diana issued stern denials.

But Brown claims to have verified the trysts. They were witnessed, she says, by police officers assigned to protect the lovers. One of them leaked the story because he was outraged at the cost to taxpayers.

Brown also maintains that while Diana regarded her maidenhood as a commodity, Charles was "charmed and beguiled" by the seemingly innocent teenager.

Many years later, he would tell his friend and authorised biographer Jonathan Dimbleby that he married her only because of pressure from his father. But Brown says Charles rewrote history because he was so bitter about the failure of the marriage.

Aides to the Prince are quoted as insisting that he was in love, recalling instances such as the cold-lobster dinner at which he wooed Diana by candlelight.

Years after her death, he would wear a favourite pullover she gave him. "Diana bought it for me,' he said. "She had terribly good taste about those kind of things."

Diana's mother was always suspicious of her daughter's motives in marrying Charles. She feared Diana loved not the man, but the status he could bring her.

For instance, presented with a choice of engagement rings, to be paid for by the Queen, Diana picked out the biggest on the tray.

Diana told Morton that she discovered on the eve of her wedding that Charles still was seeing Camilla. She was so upset, she said, that she ate everything in sight, becoming as "sick as a parrot".

But the Queen Mother's page, William Tallon, has a very different memory of that night.

He told Brown that Diana spent the night giddily celebrating. He watched her ride a bike around the Clarence House grounds singing: "I'm going to marry the Prince of Wales tomorrow!"

Diana told Morton that a year into the marriage, and while pregnant with William, she was so distraught at the thought of Charles's infidelity that she tried to commit suicide by throwing herself downstairs at Sandringham.

In her initial version of the story, as relayed verbally to the loyal Colthurst, she said that the Queen found her.

Brown maintains that even Diana was alarmed at such a lie, and later in Morton's book she said it was the Queen Mother.

"Diana changed her mind because even she could see it was a bit dicey to include the sovereign of the realm in a made-up story," Brown writes, adding that members of staff at Sandringham now admit that the whole episode was, in fact, an accidental stumble.

One fact has always remained constant in the telling and retelling of the Diana story - that she became bulimic and Charles was unable to cope.

One aide recalled how Charles hurled her wedding ring at him. "Get it made smaller!" he barked.

Unable to tell the difference between truth and fantasy, Diana was on the verge of a nervous breakdown, a fact hinted at in the original Vanity Fair story.

But The Diana Chronicles goes much further in detailing the nastiness of the rows and the physical violence between the Royal couple.

Brown says that when Diana pelted Charles with shoes, the Prince often threw things back. Once, in a rage, he heaved an antique clock.

On another occasion at Althorp, Diana's family home, they shattered a mirror, damaged an 18th Century chair and broke a window.

Lucia van der Post, the daughter of Charles's mentor, Laurens van der Post, said her father recommended that Diana should visit a psychiatrist.

Despite the screaming matches, Diana made increasingly demeaning attempts to be a "turn-on" for Charles, asking Jasper Conran to design her sexy maternity clothes while she was pregnant with Harry in 1984.

After the birth she attempted to beguile the Prince with a private striptease, but Brown says it was too late. Her outbursts had driven him back to Camilla, who was delighted by her triumph over Diana, whom she considered "gormless".

Brown says the Queen ignored Charles's resumed dalliance, viewing adultery as a "regrettable weakness", while Diana's own romantic infatuations began with her bodyguard, Barry Mannakee.

She indulged in a succession of affairs with "interchangeable chinless wonders" - such as James Hewitt - whom Brown was told she chose because they were "boy toys" bowled over by her glamour.

The book says that while her charitable work gave her some of the satisfaction that she was unable to find in her relationships with men, she often deliberately timed her philanthropic appearances to upstage Charles.

Colthurst says that by the early Nineties, she was so bitter that he sometimes had to censor her more outrageous claims. "She was one very cross lady," he recalls.

Diana received a £17million divorce settlement from Charles. But despite her protestations of ordinariness, status was still important to her.

Her short-lived passion for heart surgeon Hasnat Khan floundered, Brown says, when she decided that he needed to become richer and more important. He angrily dumped her after she tried to line him up with a better job.

Towards the end of her life, Diana became increasingly paranoid, Brown says, making bizarre outbursts claiming that Prince Philip and other Royals wanted to kill her.

Diana told Brown that William was her closest confidant, but she feared that even he would be "Windsorised".

William, meanwhile, fought with his mother over her unseemly relationship with Dodi Fayed right until the end, leaving him devastated by her death. "They would never hug each other and say sorry again," the book says.

The tenth anniversary of Diana's death - and the much-delayed inquest in October - will surely prompt a renewed deluge of lurid claims and mawkish sentimentality.

Asked about the book yesterday, Brown denied taking a harsher view of the Princess than previous commentators.

"Not true at all," she said. "I think it's sympathetic to everyone actually. The book sees everyone from a very human point of view."

She declined to answer questions about specific allegations, saying: "You can wait for the content on that." But she added:

"I definitely think the portrait of Diana is one that has a lot of human generosity. Like everyone she's a combination of things and that's true of all the protagonists in the book."

The Diana Chronicles will certainly be controversial. But it will also puncture the myths surrounding Diana, many of which were propagated by herself.

And perhaps by giving a more balanced view of her life and marriage, it will allow The People's Princess finally to rest in peace.

Angry Alec Baldwin calls daughter, 11, a 'rude thoughtless pig'

Luffy | Saturday, April 21, 2007 | 0 comments
Alec Baldwin has been banned by a court from seeing his 11-year-old daughter, Ireland, after unleashing a string of insults at her on the telephone.

The actor was furious when Ireland - who lives with her mother Kim Basinger in Los Angeles - did not answer the phone when she knew he was due to call from New York.
Alec Baldwin
Alec Baldwin with daughter Ireland, and ex-wife Kim Basinger:
A voicemail left by the Hollywood star for his daughter Ireland calling her 'a rude pig' was made public


During the call, recorded on the girl's answering machine, Baldwin, 49, ranted: "You are a rude, thoughtless little pig. You don't have the brains or the decency as a human being. "I don't give a damn that you're 12 years old, or 11 years old, or that you're a child, or that your mother is a thoughtless pain in the ass who doesn't care about what you do as far as I'm concerned.

"Once again I have made an ass of myself trying to get to a phone. You have humiliated me for the last time with this phone."

He then threatened to fly to LA "for the day, just to straighten you out on this issue".

Baldwin, calling on April 11 at 10.30am New York time (7.30am in California), told Ireland he drops everything when it is time for his scheduled phone calls and expects her to do the same.

He was due to see Ireland yesterday and before hanging up, warned her: "You'd better be ready Friday the 20th to meet with me."

But on Wednesday, Los Angeles Superior Court Commissioner Maren Nelson heard the tape and temporarily suspended Baldwin's visitation rights. She could make the ban permanent next month.

Baldwin, star of The Good Shepherd, and Basinger, 53, who won an Oscar for the 1997 film L.A. Confidential, divorced in 2002 and have been battling over Ireland for years.

The tape was obtained by entertainment website TMZ. The Baldwin camp claimed it was leaked by Basinger and that the actor had apologised to Ireland for his rant.

Why men and women have nothing in common (except sex)

Luffy | Tuesday, April 17, 2007 | 0 comments
Having an afternoon drink with a friend last Sunday, we found ourselves sitting beside a trendy twentysomething couple whose conversation we could overhear all too clearly.

Actually, it was just a monologue by the young woman, who spelled out each of the banal uninteresting problems and worries that plagued her life.

All of her mind-numbing anxieties - about work, her friends, what to buy someone for their birthday - were articulated in excruciating detail over the next two hours in a grating, whining voice.
Men just want to be happy right now while women constantly worry about the future
The original was posted here[Original]
Her companion gazed empathetically into her face from across the table, listening intently as he stroked her hand to comfort her. He was paying her the sort of devoted, patient attention that only a man in desperate want of sex can manage.

Any other guy would surely have found her blathering unbearable. From the tension in his jaw and the way his eyes narrowed as his hand slid ever upwards along her bare arm, it was obvious there was only one thing on his mind.

And he was prepared to listen to two hours of her garbage in the hope that he would get it.

In their idiotic way the couple exemplified a fundamental truth about men and women.

We exist in two different time zones. Men want to be happy right now, today, preferably in the company of a beautiful woman. Tomorrow can wait.

Women, on the other hand, are constantly concerned with the future, and with their prospects financially, emotionally and sexually.

While this girl prattled on about her vague hopes and worries for the future, her boyfriend was anchored by his carnal desires into the immediate here and now.

They exemplified what I've come to realise over the years: that men and women have almost nothing in common, other than the desire for sex and, if they have any children, a shared concern for their wellbeing. Besides that, we have very little interest in each other.

The reason, I believe, is that we are fundamentally selfish beings, only really interested in ourselves.

Some people claim to be lovingly entwined with their partners. They're deluded or lying. I'm in my mid-30s and have met no such couple.

I've known couples of all races and ages, some of them in arranged marriages - all of them simmering with tension and dissonance.

I've never met a couple I've envied. I don't feel sad admitting this. I feel liberated. I no longer cling to the myth that relationships create happiness, and I don't feel guilty or alone when feeling dissatisfied in my marriage.

Everyone else feels this, whether they admit it or not.

Men and women speak two different tongues. We can barely even get to know each other, let alone make each other happy.

Women are pathological worriers, especially the intelligent and successful ones.

I remember how, at university, the brightest girls were the most meticulous notetakers during lectures, while the boys slouched through them half-asleep.

Women can't trust their abilities and go with the flow. Even the most capable ones are riddled with doubts and desperate for security.

And that means security for the future: are they going to meet a nice man they can take home to meet their mother? Are they going to have a nice house with a conservatory at the back?

Women think and think about their lives, they plan and scheme and imagine how things might go with Mike or Sam or Joe. Who would be the best husband, the best father, the best lover? Which would have the best pension plan?

Meanwhile Mike and Sam and Joe are probably just thinking about whether the woman in question will sleep with them tonight, and who is going to win the Champions League this summer.

I remember when I proposed to my wife. We were lying in our hotel bed, on holiday in Thailand. We'd been living together for six months and my wife was now pestering me to find out where our relationship was 'going'.

I had no idea where we were 'going', and it was late and I was tired. I told her that if we were still together in a year's time I'd marry her. Then I went to sleep. Romantic, huh?

My answer was a reasonable response to her demands to know what the future held. It was rational to think that after we'd been together for 18 months that marriage was a logical continuation.

The topic wasn't discussed again for over a year, until I came across an envelope in her desk drawer.

It held the booking receipt for the country house she'd gone out on her own and hired for the wedding. Though I hadn't been informed of this, I wasn't upset. I had, after all, proposed to her.

Women generally drive the direction of relationships, partly because most men are happy just to be laissez-faire, but also because women are natural control freaks, simply because they have an inbuilt paranoia that their lives are going to go horribly awry.

For example, no intelligent man spontaneously asks a woman to marry him. She will let him know well in advance via hints, leading questions and outright nagging that she wants to get hitched.

She might squeal with mock surprise when he offers that ring, but she'll have been nudging him to do it for months if not years.

One man I know proposed on one knee to his long-term girlfriend in their room at a country house hotel. Even as he began his spiel, she began shaking her head violently.

In the end, she had to tell him this was not the kind of place she'd always imagined would be the setting for her proposal. Only a windswept hillside would do. She, you see, had been planning for this moment in her mind for years.

Similarly, men become fathers having never really thought about it. In my experience, they are often swayed by the desires of their partners.

Very few women get pregnant by accident; they generally know exactly what they're doing.

The fathers I know have admitted to being crestfallen when a girlfriend first told them she was pregnant. It was a shock end to their independence they'd never properly contemplated.

But they feigned jubilation and made the usual offers of support.

It generally takes the arrival of an unplanned child for a man to start scrupulously practising safe sex.

One of the ironies of this gulf between the mindset and aspirations of the sexes is that a woman's cloying need for certainty often drives men to be unfaithful.

The oppressive intimacy they force onto a relationship - always wanting reassurance, and always wanting to know what he is thinking and feeling - has the effect of making him seek a cheap ego boost elsewhere.

Men cheat to re-establish their sense of independence, to carve themselves a brief space with someone else that doesn't involve their partner.

My own adulteries - which occurred a couple of years ago on a long trip abroad - were driven by the need to escape the overbearing intimacy of married life.

Women will hate me for doing this and not being coy when admitting it. But I know very few men who've been faithful to their partner. The only men I've discussed sex honestly with who've never strayed are both gay.

I'm not the greatest husband material going, but it hasn't cured my wife's compulsion to seek permanence with me.

After she uncovered my misbehaviour we separated briefly, but got back together and decided to make a fresh start in a new house.

I had nothing to contribute to the deposit and my wife arranged the mortgage, yet she insisted that I sign the deeds.

I didn't feel remotely entitled to it and explicitly told her many times. But signing was her pre-condition for continuing our relationship.

I guess she felt it would be a clear sign of commitment from me, and also put me in debt to her morally.

I, naturally, did not analyse this event in terms of a long-term emotional power struggle the way a woman would. I simply noted that my infidelities had resulted in making me the co-owner of a fourstorey Georgian town house.

Figure that out.

The only reason I can give for why my wife hangs onto me is sex. She fancies me. That's it.

Within the emotional turmoil of the female mind is the primal force of sex.

Though they waffle about their need for empathy and sensitivity, women are actually far more libidinous than men.

God created sex for them. He gave them a body that is one big erogenous zone, and a taste for myriad erotic nuances. Male sexuality is blunt and lumpen: no man is aroused by the thought of warm breath against his neck.

But a woman's body is made for sex. The female orgasm makes the male climax seem a pathetic nonevent by comparison, and is proof that women enjoy sex far more than men do.

In my early and mid-20s, I had a series of liaisons with older women (one of which developed into the marriage I'm in now.

I was then penniless, and had no status and nothing noteworthy to say.

Yet accomplished and intelligent women in their 30s and 40s happily took me to bed.

I knew then that women, like men, are driven by narrow, selfish agendas, be it the desire for security, money, or a healthy young body.

Having sex with those women, I'd watch them lose themselves in the animal intensity of it, becoming oblivious to my presence.

I was nothing. They said they liked me because I was 'sweet' and 'funny', but those qualities would have been meaningless if I wasn't up to scratch in the sack.

I recently had a frank chat with a female friend, and she admitted that women address a man's qualities as though they are scanning his CV with a view to employing him.

Above all, they want a man who turns them on.

Failing that they settle (in descending order) for a man's money, his ability to entertain them, and his willingness to do the dishes.

Her words confirmed my belief that men and women are incapable of a genuine spiritual union.

We're too dissimilar even to understand each other, let alone combine in harmony, so we just grasp what we can from our relationships.

That's why, when a woman does meet a man who flips her lid sexually, she isn't going to let him go. Men and women are held together by biology, not by love.

Love isn't powerful enough to overcome the tremendous contradictions between us. Genetics isn't a recipe for happiness - but then our genes don't exist to make us happy. They exist to keep us alive.

So yes, I believe men and women do exist in different times zones in emotional terms. We find mutual satisfaction in sex, but that aside we must remain strangers.

The night Heather went from samba to doing the bump

Luffy | Tuesday, April 17, 2007 | 0 comments
Heather Mills has taken her first tumble on Dancing With The Stars, an embarrassing slip-up on live TV that may provoke a wry smile from Sir Paul McCartney.

His estranged wife managed to laugh it off and, more importantly, still impressed the judges.
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The tumble happened towards the end of Heather's routine.


The 39-year-old, who has a prosthetic left leg, fell during a samba routine with partner Jonathan Roberts on the US show last night.

It happened in the final movement when Mills put her leg on his chest. After lifting her right leg she lost her balance and collapsed to the dance floor.
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Heather gathers her composure after sliding across the floor.


As Roberts helped her up she giggled and shook her head while the couple were treated to a round of applause from the audience.
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Still smiling: Heather puts on a brave face.
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Heather has spoken openly about the challenges of performing with a prosthetic leg.


Mills, who is embroiled in a bitter divorce battle with Sir Paul, was uninjured.

And despite her mistake she scored one of the highest marks of the night — 21 out of 30.
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Heather still received praised from the judges.


Judge Carrie Anne Inaba praised her as a “free spirit”. British judge Len Goodman described the dance as a “very good performance”, while Bruno Tonioli, her biggest fan, said she was a “disco diva”.

Earlier, film of the couple rehearsing showed Mills insisting on her 26-year-old partner having his chest hair removed — and Roberts grimacing in pain as it was waxed.
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Heather's dance partner proves he's a true fan.

Kisses from Richard Gere plunge Shilpa Shetty into India row

Luffy | Monday, April 16, 2007 | 0 comments
Celebrity Big Brother star Shilpa Shetty has been swept up in controversy again - this time after being kissed by Richard Gere.

The furore erupted when Hollywood actor Gere, 57, held the Bollywood star, 31, in his arms and kissed her repeatedly on the cheeks as part of an Aids-awareness event.
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First At first it was an innocent kiss on the cheek. Next thing Shilpa Shetty knows, she's horizontal in the arms of Richard Gere
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Shilpa looks almost shellshocked as a blushing Gere rights her

But crowds in India, where public displays of affection are taboo, were not impressed with Gere's move

Now angry crowds in India, where public displays of affection are largely taboo, have begun burning effigies of the US star while chanting "Down with Shilpa Shetty".

Shetty's fame rocketed in the UK when she won Celebrity Big Brother, thanks to her fight back against bullies Jade Goody, Danielle Lloyd and Jo O'Meara.

Then Chancellor Gordon Brown was plunged into the race row crisis during his visit to India, where protesters burned effigies of the Channel 4 show's producers.

In the latest controversy, individuals in Mumbai belonging to the right-wing Hindu nationalist group Shiv Sena set fire to images of Shetty and beat burning effigies of Gere with sticks.

Protests also erupted in other cities, including Varanasi, Hinduism's holiest city, and in the northern town of Meerut, where crowds chanted "Down with Shilpa Shetty".

The pair appeared at a press conference yesterday in New Delhi to highlight the HIV and Aids epidemic among India's truck drivers.

Today, photographs of Gere embracing Shetty and kissing her on the cheek were printed on the front pages of several Indian newspapers.

Lily's the belle of St Trinian's

Luffy | Tuesday, April 10, 2007 | 0 comments
Lily Cole has joined the ranks of naughty schoolgirls with a role in the new 'St. Trinian's' film.

The 18-year-old model, who's due to take a place at Cambridge University soon, has added acting to her growing list of credentials.
Lily Cole takes a break from the catwalk to star as a schoolgirl in the new comedy, 'St. Trinian's'

Cole, along with dozens of other girls, were out-and-about in London's West End filming scenes earlier today.

The movie is set in a school for 'young ladies' where an anarchic doctrine of free expression runs riot.
St Trinian's is a school for 'young ladies' with its anarchic doctrine of free expression
The girls misbehaving in Trafalgar Square
School's out

Also joining the starry cast are Rupert Everett, Emily Watson, Russell Brand, Stephen Fry and Amy Winehouse.

The Brit-winning singer has admitted to being a disruptive pupil and was expelled from stage school at the age of 16.
Actor Rupert Everett will be putting young school girls in their place

While Everett will undoubtedly be hamming it up as Miss Tritton, the straight guy will be played by that other British gent, Colin Firth (Hugh Grant is the third member of this well-loved triumvirate of upper class charmers).
The dashing Colin Firth plays Geoffrey Thwaites

It's been 23 years since Firth made his first big screen debut, incidentally opposite Everett, in 'Another Country'.

Since then, the two have appeared in several other films together including the Oscar-winning 'Shakespeare in Love'.

Well Harry, that's certainly not cricket!

Luffy | Monday, April 09, 2007 | 0 comments
The other men in the crowd had their eyes glued to the cricket. But Chelsy Davy proved enough of a distraction to take Prince Harry's eye off the ball.

The young royal and his girlfriend appeared more interested in each other than in England's crucial World Cup match against Australia in Antigua.

While romantic observers mused that their behaviour was an indication of the depth of their love, the more down-to-earth members of Harry's circle favoured the explanation that cricket is not really his game. He always was more of a rugby man.
Harry and Chelsy get passionate

Either way, it is clear the couple are enjoying their three-week jaunt in the Caribbean in advance of the prince's deployment to Iraq as a troop commander with the Blues and Royals.

They spent their first week lazing around in the sun, smoking heavily and drinking Planters Punch in the exclusive Barbados resort of Glitter Bay, where they are sharing a private condominium.

Yesterday they roused themselves from their sun loungers to hop on to a private plane to nearby Antigua.

Accompanied by two Scotland Yard protection officers and Zimbabwean-born Chelsy's brother, Shaun, the couple took their places in the stands without any fanfare.

Harry, 22, his arm slung around his girlfriend's shoulders, wore a striped polo shirt and sunglasses while Chelsy, 21, looked stunning in a green and white striped vest top and minuscule denim skirt.
Making up: Harry and Chelsy bond at the cricket

The prince does appear to be picking up the cricket bug. Thanks to a close friend who is working for the World Cup security team, he and Chelsy also plan to attend England's match against Bangladesh in

Barbados on Wednesday. In recent days they have also been spending time with television presenter Jeremy Clarkson, who is holidaying with his family on the island's nearby Coral Reef resort.
Contact sport: A tender moment

On Wednesday Harry and the Top Gear star went fishing together before enjoying a long lunch followed by a game of tennis doubles.

On Friday night they dined together at the exclusive beachside Fishpot restaurant, a favourite of other celebrity holidaymakers including Sir Cliff Richard, Cilla Black and Tony Blair.

Unusually for Harry, who was recently photographed sprawled in the gutter outside a London nightclub, he and his girlfriend have been trying to keep a low profile.
Harry's obviously a blast, as Chelsy roars with laughter

One holidaymaker said: 'They are making a concerted effort not to even be seen together, but everyone knows who they are. Harry was in the pool when he was mobbed by children screaming "Prince Harry". He jumped out without saying a word looking embarrassed, although Chelsy smiled and said hello.'

The prince has been wearing a pair of bright red Baywatch-style shorts that almost match his sunburned cheeks. Bronzed Chelsy has turned heads in a blue and white polka-dot bikini.

The couple will return to England in two weeks when they plan to throw a going-away party for Harry before his six-month tour of duty in Iraq.
OK, let's take this seriously: Harry concentrates on the game as Chelsy shows a friend her snaps

World exclusive pictures: 'Liz treated me like a social outcast' - by Arun's dad

Luffy | Sunday, April 08, 2007 | 0 comments
It was after midnight and the body language was that of a broken man. Vinod Nayar sat dejectedly in his hotel room armchair and stared vacantly at a flickering television screen, his face crumpled with pain. Tears streamed from his red-rimmed eyes.

Yet this was supposed to have been one of the happiest nights of his life.

Just a few miles away, his son Arun and new daughter-in-law Elizabeth Hurley were enjoying the second leg of their lavish double nuptials.

Surrounded by celebrity friends, they had gathered for a spectacular fireworks party in an ancient fort overlooking the desert city of Jodhpur.

Vinod, the head of the family, should have been there with the champagne-drinking revellers and the fire-eaters and dancing horses brought in at vast expense to entertain them. But Joanne, his second wife and stepmother to Arun, had retired to bed and he was alone.
Before the feud: Liz and Arun at the wedding of his father Vinod (far right) and step-mother Joanna (far left) in 2004. Vinod claims Arun and Liz's lavish nuptials were a media event that ostracised his family

Many acres of glossy, upbeat coverage have been devoted to last month's spectacle, an event that generated the sort of media frenzy usually reserved for Hollywood stars or royalty. Hello! magazine paid a bank-breaking £2 million to secure exclusive rights.

Now The Mail on Sunday can reveal that the most talked-about wedding of the year was marred by unpleasant feuding from the outset and culminated in disgraceful scenes with ramifications that will last for years.

The celebration had already been rocked by perceived snubs, claims, counterclaims and boycott threats. Now it has emerged that an unseemly wrestling match broke out at the height of the sacred Hindu ceremony before - to the astonishment of the 200 guests - Vinod Nayar was ejected from his own son's wedding.
Conflict: Liz with Vinod's mother Kailash, centre, who was not invited to the wedding, and his wife Joanne

He has reacted with fury, disowning both his sons, saying they were complicit in his humiliation. But the real target of his anger, the person he blames for this shameful turn of events, is none other than Ms Hurley. And it is the result, he says, of her obsessive appetite for lucrative publicity.

"I believe it was expressly done on Elizabeth's orders," he says, shattering the secrecy surrounding the debacle.

"Maybe they didn't really want my side of the family there. They didn't even have the good manners to invite my 87-year-old mother.

"I once thought Liz was a lovely, unspoiled woman, but now I see that she is a very hard person. It was important for her to get celebrity faces there. That's what the Hello! deal was about. She was fulfilling her contractual obligation.

"I knew she was very ambitious, but I never realised just how desperate she is for fame and attention.

"My wife and I were publicly humiliated and treated like social outcasts for the sake of a £2 million magazine deal. We were pushed into the background like poor relations."

And he reveals: "I consider it an insult that she wasn't wearing the £35,000 diamond and ruby necklace I offered as a wedding gift.

"But the most offensive and hurtful thing was to be denied, in the presence of all those people, the opportunity to accept her formally into the family, as is the Indian custom. This is not the behaviour of a woman with integrity and honour."

The wedding was never going to be a family occasion. Spread over six days across two continents, from picturesque Sudeley Castle in Gloucestershire to the 548-year-old Meherangarh Fort, Rajasthan, it was packed with celebrities - even if some of them were C-list.
Trouble and strife: Arun and Liz were paid £2 million for their wedding pictures

Elton John, Elle Macpherson and Prince Pavlos of Greece were among the more prominent. Others included designer Tom Ford, actress Patsy Kensit, fashion pundit Trinny Woodall and Janet Street-Porter, another member of the Liz 'n' Elton set.

But the least that Vinod hoped for was respect. The retired businessman, who says his wealthy family was once among India's top industrial earners, embraces traditional values.

In his world, a daughter-in-law, however rich or famous, does not enter a family and then start throwing her weight around.

Sitting at a pale-green onyx desk in the study of his luxury penthouse in Bombay, surrounded by antiques, Indian art and other family heirlooms, it is clear that this quietly spoken 66-year-old man has been shaken to the core, to the point that he is now prepared to speak his mind in public.

Wildly inaccurate gossip, he says, has made the past few weeks "the most painful and publicly humiliating episode" of his life.

"I've decided to break my own personal code and talk to the Press for the first time, because there has been so much media speculation about what really happened behind the scenes," he explains.

"Everyone seems to know that there was a huge bust-up. But certain people have maliciously decided to make my wife Joanne the scapegoat. They say that she had a fight with Liz because she was trying to hog the limelight.

"Well, that is just rubbish. The fact is that Liz and Arun have treated us very shabbily. My wife and I were humiliated and still feel very angry about what happened. I'm in a lot of pain over this.

"I once had a very good relationship with my sons. When Liz came along, I happily welcomed her into the fold. And this is the way she has repaid me.

"My heart is heavy with pain. I don't know how she can blithely state in interviews that she gets on well with Arun's Indian family after what she did. They should both be ashamed of themselves.

"My elderly mother cried because they did not tell her about the wedding, even though she lives here in the same building as me and my sons."

It is a sorry end to what had initially seemed the perfect union of Eastern and Western cultures. Vinod recalls that when he first met Ms Hurley, he was in awe of the model and occasional actress's beauty and her superstar reputation.

"She and Arun had been dating for more than a year when he brought her to our penthouse apartment," he says.

"She came to meet the family - me, the grandmother and a couple of cousins. We shared a glass of champagne and then they left. I thought she was sweet and charming. Whenever they were in town they would come up for a drink on the terrace.

"Once they even joined Joanne and me for a cocktail party with friends. I noticed that Liz never ate very much and I once made a light comment about it, but she just laughed and said her figure was her fortune and that she had to be very disciplined.

"From the start she was chatty with me and confided that she loved my son very much. I felt proud that Arun had found such a beautiful and accomplished woman, even though his first marriage to Valentina had not officially ended at the time.

"Liz visited our home perhaps a couple of dozen times and occasionally sunbathed on the terrace, which has a spectacular view of the bay. I thought we got on just fine.

"We talked about how hard she had worked to get what she had. She's an Army officer's daughter and quite a tough cookie.

"She complained about how difficult it was being in the public eye and said she hated the way the media kept prying into her private life.

"Yet I got the feeling that she really enjoyed being in the limelight, especially the access it gave her to some of India's top people. She's treated like royalty over here."

Vinod, a tall and distinguished-looking man, collects art and vintage cars. His relations with the young couple continued to be warm and friendly over the years. They were guests of honour when he married Joanne, now 55.

He had been married to Arun's mother, German-born Gunhild Hapke (known as Gunna), for over 20 years but they divorced in 1996.

Liz and Arun also visited him in January to show off her stunning 15-carat diamond engagement ring and spent more than a hour discussing their marriage plans.

"Liz said she was very excited and promised that it would be a lot of fun. I offered to help, but they insisted everything had already been arranged.

"That's when I came up with the idea of throwing a party for them. She was very pleased. She kept insisting that family was very important to her and how happy she was to be part of ours. I told her that, as head of the family, it was customary for me to welcome her with a gift and I offered to purchase a necklace, which would be presented at the Hindu blessing."

But things turned sour two weeks before the Gloucestershire wedding.

Vinod phoned Arun to discuss design changes that Liz had suggested for the necklace.

"They were in the car and Liz was driving," he recalls. "Arun mumbled something about having sent me an email about the wedding via his office, which is on the ground floor of our building. He said the email was not very nice, but it had nothing to do with him - it was what Liz wanted.

"He said she was angry because Joanne had talked to the Indian Press about the wedding. I was astounded. My wife had been doing promotion work for a jewellery company and a journalist had asked her if she was going to the wedding.

"She said she was very excited, that Liz was a lovely woman and we were all looking forward to welcoming her into the family. It was not exactly revealing any big secret. I could hear Liz shouting in the background that she didn't want Joanne at the wedding. She was very angry.

"I could not believe it. Arun's mother Gunna had talked to Indian newspapers at about the same time and revealed details about the wedding, but no one was threatening to ban her."

Vinod phoned Joanne, who was in London. "He was furious," she recalls. "I said he could go without me, but he refused."

"Absolutely not," snapped Vinod in response.

"An insult to my wife is an insult to me - remember that Prince Charles didn't go to one wedding because the people wouldn't invite Camilla.

"It's not the way we do things in India either. We have respect for the head of the family and I was not about to be dictated to like that."

After a series of terse emails between Bombay and London, Liz backed down. She admitted she might have overreacted because of her fear of media intrusion. Vinod suspects she was just worried about losing the Hello! deal if information leaked out.

While on the surface good relations had returned, it would appear that all was not quite forgiven.

Vinod and Joanne found out that their hotel reservation in a village near Sudeley Castle, which Liz and Arun had promised to arrange, had either been cancelled or had not been made. They were fortunate to get a last-minute cancellation.

"It really hurt that I was just forgotten," says Vinod. "I should have realised then that I was not important in their eyes."

Indeed, to his consternation, he felt increasingly like an extra in a dramatic production.

When Vinod complained that the few Indian relatives invited were all seated outside the chapel and had to watch on screens, Arun remarked that he was lucky to have been invited in the first place.

Although Joanne was inside the chapel, she sat away from her husband with people she did not know.

"Elizabeth and Arun totally ignored us," she says.

"It's a shame because we had been looking forward to celebrating the occasion. When I tried to greet his mother Gunna, she shoved me away frostily. We were not introduced to anyone. It was absolute rudeness. Elizabeth was only interested in entertaining her society friends.

"At the banquet, you couldn't see the bride and groom or the cake. I was sat with people I didn't know. Elizabeth couldn't move around freely because of her ridiculous meringue dress."

The invitations for India included a list of do's and don'ts for guests, which some locals found insulting.

Joanne says: "It included advice to bring bacterial wipes and not to talk to beggars. We found it quite offensive. We treated her more kindly when she attended our wedding three years ago."

Despite the coolness of their reception, Vinod was moved when the couple exchanged vows.

"Liz looked like a princess in her layered-chiffon Versace dress, and the castle was a glorious setting," he says. "Still, I couldn't quite shake the feeling that it was just an elaborate media event.

"Liz told me that she was a down-to-earth, family person. But she let herself down by selling what should have been a wonderful, private affair to a magazine. It robbed the occasion of any intimacy."

Vinod and Joanne flew back to Bombay, believing that things would be better on their home turf. But they were wrong. Vinod was told that Liz did not want his wedding gift for the Hindu blessing.

"I was deeply upset. She opted to wear a necklace that Arun's mother had loaned to Valentina for her wedding to him. I thought this was in very poor taste, and that she should have something new."

The situation continued to deteriorate when Vinod and Joanne joined some 250 guests for the four-day Jodhpur jamboree.

They found that, instead of staying in the magnificent art-deco Umaid Bhawan Palace, the Nayar clan(with the exception of Arun's brother) had been booked into a cheaper hotel.

"The Umaid Bhawan Palace was full of Europeans who were friends of Liz," complained Vinod.

"Many were just minor celebrities. One English couple said that they had only known Liz and Arun for about six months and didn't know why they'd been invited. Yet my brother, nieces and nephews were put up in a hotel about six kilometres away."

Again he complained to Arun about this perceived discrimination, but he merely snapped: "This is the way Liz wants it."

Father and son had yet another clash when Vinod tried to take souvenir shots after an evening cricket match on the first day.

Liz screamed at Arun to "take that camera from your dad for Christ's sake". And Arun snatched it from his father's hands.

"I felt humiliated, like a naughty schoolboy," says Vinod.

"I didn't want to make a scene, so I let it go. But they had spoiled the day for me. I was being put in my place, which was lower than Liz's European friends."

Joanne, a businesswoman and former top model, was outraged at what she felt was a clear case of victimisation.

"Other people were snapping away freely at both weddings, despite Liz's camera ban. Yet we felt there were eyes watching us the whole time to make sure we didn't do anything out of line.

"At one point, when Vinod and another female relative tried to dance at the Mendi hand-painting ceremony, my husband was told to sit down.

"They were embarrassed that we were acting too Indian in front of all the English. It was sad. As if we don't know how to behave.

"I was brought up as the daughter of an Army officer who was awarded the Burma Star. And I have kept the principles I was brought up with. Liz and her kind are just upstarts."

She recalls that Liz blanked her at one dinner. "I said 'Hi' and she looked away and started talking to her friend Tania Bryer. There was not even a smile."

Tension continued to build up between the senior and junior Nayars throughout the extravaganza.

Most seemed petty and could have been ignored by Vinod, but - as he sees it - the effrontery of finding that his name was not on the Hindu wedding invitations was the start of his undoing.

"They put my ex-wife, my younger son and his wife's names. I was a non person," he says.

"Even if a father is deceased in India, his name should appear as a sign of respect. I was afforded no such courtesy. It was like a slap in the face.

"I can only imagine that my ex-wife, with whom I've had a difficult relationship, had managed to influence Liz in the same way she tried to turn our sons against me in the years since we parted in 1989."

In particular, Vinod tried to take part in the sacred Hindu ritual, where the bride and groom are blessed by their parents. As the senior member of his family, Vinod naturally went to assume his rightful place on the platform alongside Liz's mother and Gunna.

But he was quickly bundled away by his younger son Nikhil, who threatened to call security guards if he didn't leave.

"I saw from a distance the argument taking place between Vinod and his boys," says Joanne.

"There was some pushing and shoving, then I saw him collapse on a chair. I thought he might be having a heart attack and rushed over. I begged him not to make a scene and tried to calm him down. Then he was asked to leave by Arun's brother."

Vinod says: "I think this elaborate Indian event was Elizabeth's theatrical dream. It was not a serious attempt to honour our customs. It was just nonsense."

In retaliation for his ejection, he used his considerable connections to announce, in a Bombay daily newspaper, that he was cancelling the lavish £30,000 dinner for 250 people that he and Joanne had planned to host for his son and Ms Hurley the following day.

"I took the decision to cancel the party that night," he says. "I figured that if they could treat us so shabbily, there was no guarantee they would actually come to the party I had organised in their honour.

"I was devastated. I even tried to get a private plane back to Bombay that night, but had to wait until the morning for one of the two chartered planes filled with other guests.

"Some were due to come to my party and they learned it was off only when they opened the newspaper, and the buzz vibrated through the aircraft."

With a heavy heart, Vinod sent angry letters to both sons, criticising their behaviour and ordering them to vacate the two grace-and-favour apartments they use in his six-storey Bombay building.

The letter said: "I am very upset with your rudeness and the terrible remarks you made in a very loud tone on the days I was in Jodhpur. You have shown disrespect to me and my family plus my dear friends who have been with me since your birth and have been your mentors.

"You and Elizabeth gave priority to people who were not very important or who were not well known to you. I came every day to talk to you about the wedding but you disregarded me like one of your office boys. I hope you will learn what your priorities will be in life."

Now Vinod insists: "I have totally disowned them. I want nothing more to do with them or their wives. All of this directly resulted from the wedding debacle and the fact that Liz clearly didn't want much emphasis placed on Arun's Indian relatives at either ceremony.

"Out of the hundreds of photos taken at both events, I only feature in two. My dear wife was totally ostracised and is in none."

Joanne, ever present by his side, felt that as a relatively new addition to the family, she could only watch helplessly as Liz and Vinod's two sons heaped insults upon her dignified husband.

"I was disappointed to realise just how shallow and superficial Liz really is," she says.

"That woman treated supposedly famous guests with more kindness than her husband's family.

"As a result, what should have been an intimate, joyous occasion was nothing more than a commercial sideshow. Weddings are supposed to be enjoyed.

"But we were told not to step out of line, don't get close to anyone, don't take any pictures. She was dictating everything behind the scenes.

"When we went back to the hotel, Vinod made several calls to cancel the party. I have never seen him so distraught. He was crushed. His own sons had turned on him.

"Yet the next day, when people heard the party had been called off, everybody blamed me and I was called the Monster-in-Law."

Vinod is determined to quash his wife's detractors and protect her reputation.

"This unpleasantness is not my doing," he says. "I am not doing this lightly. It's a big step, I know, but I have come to the end of the road.

"This has nothing to do with Joanne. It's about the disrespect shown to me by my sons and daughter-in-law.

"They let greed and a desire to show off to the world come before family. They have broken my heart and left me with no choice but to disown them."
 
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