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Posh's desperate attempt to sell Brand Beckham to America

Luffy | Tuesday, July 17, 2007 | 0 comments
Victoria Beckham has tried to win over America with her charm, wit and fashion sense, and she's not ashamed to use her most powerful commodity – her marriage.

Following up their sexually charged photoshoot for W magazine and detailed account of their relationship, she allowed cameras from her fly-on-the-wall documentary, to again capture intimate moments with her husband David.

Footage from the programme, which will be screened on ITV tonight, showed the couple kissing and hugging between takes of photoshoots - no doubt aware of the camera's presence - proving that Posh will continue to use Brand Beckham in her Stateside assault.
Zoolander moment: Posh and Becks engage in a pose off

Still, the strategy has faltered, if the response from critics is any indication.

Victoria Beckham: Coming to America was universally panned - with reviewers comparing the blow-by-blow account of her life to watching mould growing on cheese.

One of the worst savagings came from the respected New York Post, which described the show as "an orgy of self-indulgence."
Hug it out: Victoria and David wrap up their W shoot

Linda Stasi wrote: "NBC should get down on its knees and give a giant thanks that soccer star David Beckham was called back to Europe before it could finish filming his relentlessly self-promoting wife's reality series.

"If this were not a one-shot deal and people were exposed to her vapid, condescending behaviour on a weekly basis....she would be run out on a rail.

"It is an orgy of self-indulgence so out of whack with reality that you will sit there slack-jawed at the gall of these people who think we are that stupid."
Near naked ambition: David muscles in on the magazine shoot

Miss Stasi went on to describe her sycophantic entourage "clinging to her every thought as though she were Stephen Hawking."

She added: "This smacks of too much fame, too much money and too much time spent believing the hype for all concerned."
Start your engines: the pair ramp up the passion for their onscreen moment

Other US commentators have described Mrs Beckham as "affecting the sullen grimace of a cartoon rodent" while American websites have been inundated with comments complaining "enough already - we are sick of them."

The backlash against Brand Beckham will come as a blow to Posh Spice, who has spoken with enthusiasm of embracing American culture and bringing up her three children there.
Becks appeal: cameras caught the couple's display of affection between takes

With her husband David Beckham hailed the "soccer saviour" with his £128 million move to LA Galaxy and the reformed Spice Girls set to tour worldwide, Mrs Beckham was hoping to cash in by launching her own TV career.

A proposed six-part TV series with NBC was chopped to a one-off documentary called Victoria Beckham: Coming to America.

But if reviews of the show are anything to go by, her TV career will be short-lived despite her move to Hollywood last week.

The influential New York Times compared the programme to a website called cheddarvision.tv, where a webcam is focused on a truckle of West Country cheddar round-the-clock so cheese fans can watch the mould grow.
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Reviewer Alessandra Stanley said: "Watching Victoria Beckham: Coming to America is a little like that site - although the cheddar probably has an ounce or two on Mrs Beckham, who is also famous for being thin but with very large breasts.

"The Beckhams market their marriage as the core of their brand yet Mrs Beckham is oddly unsensual on television. She somehow takes the sin out of synergy.

"These kinds of reality shows rely on a fish-out-of-water conceit but in Beverly Hills she is a fish-in-Evian, one rich, blonde, spray tanned wife-of among many.

"If she can retain viewers past the first commercial break...there is no such thing as celebrity ditz-fatigue."

Gail Pennington, of the St Louis Post-Dispatch, wrote: "To the Brits they are Posh and Becks. To most Americans they are - who?"
Blow out: Posh prepares to prank the paparazzi with a doll version of herself

Jay Marriotti, of the Chicago Sun-Times, added: "David Beckham's attempted hijacking of the American psyche has nothing to do with soccer or sports.

"It is about systematically shoving the fame of Becks and his wife, Posh Spice, down the piehole of a nation inundated with enough celebrities."

Kevin McDonough, of SouthCoastToday.com, said: "Mrs and Mrs Posh appear in their underwear and seem to be underfed and decidedly unhappy.

"Victoria scowls into the camera, affecting the sullen grimace of a cartoon rodent but declares: "I am not a miserable cow."

"Thank you for clearing that up, Vic."

The cutting comments are set to devastate Mrs Beckham, who had been determined to dispel the public perception of her.
Say cheese! Posh delivers her version of a smile

While promoting the programme she said: "I am not just a miserable bitch who wears nice clothes. There is more to me than the Posh pout."

The programme, which mainly focuses on her and does not feature the children, kicks off with her posing with her husband for a set of raunchy photos for W magazine.

Mrs Beckham is filmed making the move to her new LA home, applying for a driving licence and talking about her new circle of friends such as Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes.
Testing times: Victoria sits for her American driving license

She said: "I know a bit about Scientology but Tom hasn't tried to convert me."

She is also heard threatening to castrate Eddie Murphy - ironically the star of the original film Coming To America - after he dumped her fellow Spice Girl Mel Brown while she was pregnant.

Some US commentators have praised her "dry, deprecating sense of humour" - such as when she is offered a biscuit and says: "I don't want to be seen smiling, having fun or eating."
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Her TV flop follows her faux-pas just days earlier when she denounced Hollywood stars who dressed down in public.

Many of the A-list - such as Cameron Diaz and Penelope Cruz - regularly sport the tracksuit attire which horrified her.

The one-hour special will be screened on ITV1 Tuesday at 9pm.

Beckham is set to make his footballing debut on Saturday, preceded by his own special on NBC titled David Beckham: New Beginnings.
One day it will all be mine... Posh plots to take over America

More quotes from the review:

"Beckham, who is bizarrely constantly posing even in her own home, offers insights about how major a certain purse is or how her new phone has changed her life."

"Her entourage laughs at everything she says as though they were hanging with Dave Chappelle, and clings to her every thought as though she were Stephen Hawking."

"The "special" which NBC calls an "exclusive" inside look at Victoria's larger-than-life life smacks of too much fame, too much money and too much time spent believing the hype for all concerned."
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